and she was petting her beer can
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
