proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
