I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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