I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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