(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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