she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
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Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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