Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
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woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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