I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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