There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
