Betty ford says i'm here all night
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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