Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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