I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
