oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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