So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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