You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
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They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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