Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
