Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
