I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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