Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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