I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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