Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
