please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Two words: nipple clamps
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