OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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