just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
