Someone shit on the floor
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
