At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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