wakey wakey hands off snakey
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
