I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize