Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
