They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
