I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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