I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
