It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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