he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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