no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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