I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
