I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
