My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize