I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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