She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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