and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
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