Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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