well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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