I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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