Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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