Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
