i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
