it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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