i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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