I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize