it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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