Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
