your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
