Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
