Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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