Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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