Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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