We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
