Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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